Dear Self,
Looking at you right now i cant help but smile. And although it has been a very rough and a cruel ride, Im just glad to see you fighting back and smiling back at me. Its going to take a while for your old smile to come back, but its good enough to know that you decided to fight back and to move on with your own life.
Well, Id like to apologize for allowing you to feel this pain. I know that I should have let you walk away long ago, I should have insisted you to follow what your mind did tell you, but I did not. Maybe because I knew, even if I did, you will refuse to listen. You're too stubborn to listen and yet you're too hopeful that tables gonna turn in your favor, and so you stayed and waited for a miracle to happen.
You see, nursing a broken heart and carrying a smile for the world to see is such a brave thing to do, and i must give you the credits for trying and thinking that what you did was the best thing. Walking away from something that not only makes you unhappy but also makes you lose yourself more everyday was the only option you have to save yourself. After all, you cannot forever wait for a prince charming to save a Princess... Because, it does not happen in real life. Because the truth is, you are your own hero. This is no fairytale.
And just because you're the one hurting now, doesn't really mean its going to stay that way. There are still those nights when you cry yourself to sleep, and think how unfair the situation is. Its not a bad choice when you chose to love yourself more when someone who promised to, cannot or just wont. Its time to choose yourself over someone who doesnt give a sh*t on what and how you feel. Its time to gather yourself up with all the little pieces left and just start all over again. Its always easier to move forward when you know that you have given your best shot. At least you wouldnt go living your life with so many 'what if's' and 'if only' ...
Stop feeling bad when the jerk who caused you pain and made you cry doesnt have balls to even apologize for breaking you, because really, before we appreciate the Good men, we will have to meet and kiss few jerks in our lives.
So for now, believe that all of these are working out exactly as God has planned. Its painful and most of the things doesn't make sense, but it will someday. I wont wish bad things to happen to the person who caused you pain, because even if i did, im not sure its really going to make you happy. I've let you suffered long enough, and its time I put you first. After all, you deserve nothing but the best. You've been good enough even if the person you chose to gave your all doesn't realized it, someday, someone else will.
Love,
Me
