Every Girl has a Drama queen in her!

** From the ancient friendster, i was able to see my old blogs. I still feel every word from it, only that, it sounded a different person from the past. here are some of my ka-emohan posts. im such a drama queen, i know right! :p

LoSs…

I know he’s there, but I fight hard the urge on looking his way. i know seeing him would only make me feel blue.

Seeing him would only make me think of everything I’ve ever wanted which I 

carelessly let go of, seeing him would only remind me how silly I am for letting go of a precious thing which was already in my hands, seeing him would only make me realize that my smiles aren’t real at all for I have already lost the reasons behind them and I know deep inside I’m slowly dying.

seeing him would only hurt for I know I wont have him, and its sickening to fight back the urge of wanting something you can never have.

 How do you move on when every time you tell yourself its over, you heart still insists? How do you convince that you’ve moved on and you’re doing just fine when you know you still cry to sleep just thinking of him? Its never

easy. No one said it would be. its so hard keeping hold of your sanity when all you  have is regrets.

The irony of all the ironies is why do we realize someone’s worth just when they’re gone? And the sad thing is we wont be able to let them know how much we care cause we let the moment passed us by.

 I know he is everything I wanted but I know he wont be mine. I guess life has just its own way of making us realize things, may it be the hard way or not, Im sure I have learned a lot…

I am not looking, but I gave in. just a glimpse of him made me smile to myself as I turned and  walk away. There he was, and I am here. There could just be no more ‘us..’ 

 ** and heres another one..

He doesnt know.. =(

For quite sometime now, ive been dragging myself out of d mess iv been int0, god knows, if i could only go back and und0 things from d past, hell yeah, i would.. but were talking about reality here.. i just cant.. =( 

i never denied anything.. i took all d blame.. i am taking all the blame why it has to end up like this.. i have caused him s0o0 much pain… 

i was the one who let g0 just like that.. i was the one who gave up what we had..

stupid of me.. and after a while, just when he was starting to get over me, out of d blue, reality hit me.. he meant the world t0 me.. he was d 1 for me.. the only one for me.. but the sad thing is, he got tired of the dramas and the chasing.. 

i got what i deserve.. i know i deserve all of these..

ive had to0 much of all of d sh*t.. its time i leave ssomething for myself.. i cant push myself to sum1 hu doesnt want to pull me back..  

i have to move on.. we both have hurt each other eventually..

but d fact that the world and the people ar0und him knew how much pain he had dealt with, dsnt mean he had suffered more.. what he dsnt know, and what he wont care to know, is how much i cry myself to sleep everynight knowing i could never have back which was once in my hands.. =( 

he d0esnt kn0w how much i love him..

he wont care to kn0w..

*if its meant t0 be, it will find its way..

if its not, it never was =(

- and i guess, it jus wasnt..